The NA Gift For Yourself

In our journey through this labyrinth called life, we encounter any number of challenges that can catch us unawares and trigger negative thoughts within ourselves, toward ourselves, and toward others.

As we move through our years we consciously and unconsciously store many issues. Oftentimes these begin in our childhood and then progress and accumulate as we grow into adults. We may be harboring old cobwebs related to sibling rivalry, parents, friends, neighbors, and loved ones. Most often, however, the one we carry the heaviest burden with is our own self, our own transgressions against ourselves.

This is our personal journey and precious passage through this life; and it is our gift from the spirit that resides within us to forgive. When we do not forgive, we remain trapped in a limbo that is painful, attached by an unseen strand that is linked to a past which is gone; nonexistent. To refuse to forgive only hurts me. I am the one choosing to carry this burden around endlessly, even though it is useless drudgery.

The negative ego plays a part in the forgiveness experience. The negative ego wants to be right and has a grand time making others wrong. This is a trap of the negative ego that is potent and can make the experience of forgiving a true challenge. The dance of the negative ego can be seen when there is a desire to be right no matter what, even though it is a slow destructive force that has power over our happiness.

When forgiveness seems difficult, this is when we must be very vigilant and strong in our intent. In such times it feels as though the negative ego and I are having an inner war, because there is the delicious juice of being right, and who wants to give up being right? However, this is when I know it is up to me to stand strong and make a firm decision in the direction I wish to go.

I have several books of inspiration and poetry that I keep by my bed; and in the morning I choose one of the books, open it without needing to control what page it opens to, and that is my reading for the day. We are coming into the holiday season that for many is a time of gift giving. The reading this morning reminded me of a gift we can give ourselves.

This is an excerpt from a reading in “Watering the Soul” by Courtney Peppernell. Have a beautiful and loving holiday season.

HOW TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
By taking responsibility –
By speaking the mistake to the universe –
Let the universe bear witness that despite the mistake you have made, it does not change your place on this earth. Your healing begins when you speak of your journey to forgiveness and all it’s worth.
By making amends –
Forgiveness starts with an apology, sometimes to yourself, sometimes to others, always to your heart.
By not blaming yourself –
The blame isn’t going to help you move on or learn to let go. Forgiving is about navigating away from all the guilt and learning of all the hope in the things that can be rebuilt.
By renewing –
Life always regrows from the dust and the ashes, and so too will you. There is more to this life than holding on to all the mistakes that in the end should not ever control you.