Forgiveness Is For you, Not Them
Here we are again, fall and winter headed our way and changes in nature shows us how it’s time to let go, much like a tree that lets go of its leaves that no longer serve a purpose and that remaining on the tree would just be useless dead weight. That is how carrying a grudge can be for any of us – dead weight. Forgiveness is a quiet act of profound internal courage. It’s not meant to condone bad behavior or invite a toxic person back into our life. It is an act of unchaining ourselves from them. Choosing to forgive or hold onto resentment triggers a profound chain reaction across our entire being. When we don’t forgive, our body and mind are trapped in a state of chronic defense; when we do forgive, we shift into a state of deep healing.
Staying in a state of unforgiving, is detrimental to our physical, our mental and our spiritual being. We live in a physical world, and our bodies do not experience resentment passively, they experience it as an emergency. To hold a grudge or shall we say, refuse to forgive is like weaponizing our nervous system against ourselves. Often resulting in elevated cortisol, high blood pressure and weakened immunity. Whereas when we do forgive, it can calm the nervous system, lower the heart rate and support deeper sleep.
On a mental level, unforgiving can burden the mind with obsessive thinking. It can create anxiety and mental fatigue. None of which are helpful for a peaceful life or a healthy one. When we let go and forgive, we have a steadier regulation of the emotions and a much lighter outlook on life which gives the body and mind relief from the tensions and frustrations of past injuries that are exactly that: past. It’s time to let it all go and find freedom in our hearts, mind and body.
On a spiritual level, unforgiving can cause stagnation and a sense of being isolated, closing us off from the natural flow of love, joy, and peace – keeping us tangled in a toxic connection to trauma and unresolved pain. It’s as if our hearts become hardened and disconnected from divine peace. When we forgive and forget, we can experience a greater flow of energy, deeper empathy and a wonderful inner freedom.
As we prepare ourselves and our homes for the coming colder season, perhaps we can also prepare our inner lives. True forgiveness is not a favor we do for the other person that may have hurt us in some way; it is a profound gift of health, freedom and peace that we give ourselves. So, before the first snow falls this year, ask yourself: What useless heavy burden am I willing to let go of?
It has been said that being unwilling to let go and forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.