Self Loving Kindness
Have you ever considered taking an inventory of the unkind or unloving thoughts you have about yourself? As some of you have heard me say before, what we think now creates our future, and because of the power of thought, it influences our physical and emotional wellbeing as well as our future.
Some of us may have been listening to unkind and unloving self-thoughts about ourselves throughout our lives. When I was practicing iridology, one of the most common unkind self-thoughts some clients shared with me was that they felt they were not good enough, which is like an umbrella hovering over many other thoughts and feelings, such as guilt, shame, the “shoulds” of life and not meeting them, lack, fear of loss, and so on.
Over the years, I have heard within myself and from others a myriad of negative self-thinking that is unkind and unloving. This, I feel, is one of the most important parts of our journey through this life because when we are thinking unkind, unloving thoughts about ourselves, it is then reflected in our behavior in the world. There is an unconscious response that has a way of confirming what we believe about ourselves. An example could be that when we feel we are not good enough to reach our goals or desires, we lose the momentum and ambition to pursue them. We also tend to sabotage ourselves along the way.
STOP! The next time you are self-critical ask yourself “What would be here if this thought was not here? Is this a destructive or creative thought? Do I want this thought to rule my life? Does this thought contribute to my happiness? Does feeding this thought solve any of my problems or needs? Do I want to keep this thought?” And finally, the most important question of all: “What would make me feel like someone who I could love?” Remember that we all make mistakes, we all have different body types, we all have some dysfunctional circumstances in our history, and these do not define who we are. They are part of our life to teach us and to help us learn how to be more of who we wish to be.
There is only one you, and isn’t that wonderful? Celebrate your uniqueness, because it is your gift to others. Have a conversation with yourself in such a way that you speak to and about yourself as you would want to hear others speak to you. If it feels helpful to write down your conversation, then do so.
We are different from others. That is the way it is meant to be. Think how boring it would be if we were all the same. Allow yourself to be a different, quirky, unlike others expression of life. Be who you really are, not who you think you should be. If you dance funny, then dance funny. If you sing off key, then sing off key. If you don’t like peas, then don’t like peas. If you don’t like social media, then don’t do social media. Be true to yourself.
